My dear little daughter,You are not out in this crazy world yet, but you are known here in our family. We talk about you and to you daily, and we experience your mark on this world daily. Your father speaks in his deep bear voice every morning and you dance for him in what I can only imagine as excitement. I sing songs and laugh and you jump in a joyful way. But the most enthusiastic companion for you is your sensitive, happy, adoring brother who dotes on you multiple times every single day. You make his world a bright, cheerful place.
It was for him that you first gave us all a taste of your feisty, joyful life within my womb. I spent hours, one hopeless evening, attempting to put your brother to bed through songs, bottles, rocking, cuddling, and silent begging. My tummy growled because you demanded extra calories and the hours it was taking to lay him down for sleep didn’t please either of us. I faced the ceiling with your brother sprawled across my growing belly in the dark and suddenly, you jabbed with all your might. I sucked in breath because it tickled and your brother raised his head, sleepily. He grinned and stretched the fingers of his right hand as far as they would expand and began stroking my belly. His gentle strokes tickled me terribly, and for a brief minute, you both were ganging up on me. You jabbed again, and your brother couldn’t contain laughter. From that moment, you two had a beautiful relationship of fun, silliness, and companionship.
After that first time of feeling your life grow, I knew how much you were needed in this family. Your kicks remind me daily that our tiny world is changed for the better and the joy you bring even now brings us so much goodness into our lives.
Everyday, I rock your brother to sleep for nap, and your growth has made it impossible to be alone with him in that chair. But he insists upon rocking, shoves a hand in my shirt and lovingly says, “bebe” or “luv da Bebe” or some kind of variation. He includes you even now and you bring him comfort. He giggles at your kicks, and sometimes, he shares his beloved “Softy Kitty” with you with a simple explanation, “itsa Softy!” You enjoy the lullabies that I sing for him just as much as he does and you wiggle excitedly. You two have an undeniable bond of siblings that no one could miss upon observation. I have no concern that you will fit into this family, because just as he did with the rocking chair, your big brother will make you fit and guide you along.
You are the next little piece to our life and love’s puzzle, and you will never lack in belonging. Our family needs you, and needs exactly who you are even now. When your brother comes in and asks for you, you bring him comfort and he smiles and snuggles. When your father feels exhausted and hopeless, you bring joy and tenderness and so much hope as he waits to feel you move under my skin. When I sometimes feel lost, your little body lights my path back to the love of our family and the love packed into this vocation. Your whole existence is a mark of God’s love for me through all of his many gifts to me.
I hope we can deserve you. I hope we can give you all that you have already given us. I hope you will always know how perfectly joyful you have made us and how glad we are to be your family. We can’t wait for you to get here, little one.