Four Years after “I Do”

Because I tend to be quite a sap about everything, I get really sentimental on the blog around our anniversary. This year, I had a lot of fun asking the most interesting man alive to undergo an obnoxious interview, and much to my delight, he said yes! I hope you enjoy this fun post and learning all sorts of embarrassing things about the two of us, in honor of our 4th anniversary.

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Hanna–err–interviewer: Who are you?

—-

Daniel: I’m Daniel. I am a pianist and music educator. I’m 24, a Roman Catholic and married to a lovely lady named Hannah. We reside in North Texas with our son. Other than that…cigars, death metal, cheeseburgers, formula racing, movies, that’s pretty much all there is to me. I talk to much (clearly).

Interviewer: Your interests are quite…manly. You wouldn’t happen to also secretly enjoy shopping with girls and get weirdly frustrated when people touch your hair?

Daniel: Ok, ok you got me. I do enjoy shopping for clothes, (although less now with a baby, lame I know). Despite all the manly stuff below, I have been told that I can be quite girly. I can’t stand hyper-masculinity, and I am completely comfortable with enjoying shoes, hair products or anything like that. Men in my line of work generally avoid the “manly man” persona and I guess I fit in pretty well with that. I also don’t really feel a topical disconnect with my female friends over things like clothes, hair, emotions, chocolate, etc.  My wife compares me to Schmitt from the series “New Girl,” when I text her things like “this stupid football traffic is going to make me late to the symphony!”

I don’t know if my hair being touched freaks me out. Nobody has gotten close enough yet.

Interviewer: As an objective third party, your wife sounds like a pretty wise and exceptionally funny lady… Let’s talk about her. What’s the most annoying thing about her, as stated by her husband?

Daniel: She is indeed pretty, wise and pretty wise. Second to her tendency to self-aggrandize in emails, I’d say her most annoying trait is her tickling. She basically uses tickling as the nuclear option during conflict. Because she is not ticklish, I have yet to devise a counter-strategy.

Ok, I’ll seriously answer the question. What often annoys me about my wife is what I perceive as naivety. I will get irritated because she is overly compassionate on people to the point that they can take advantage of her. She will go out on a very thin limb to imagine a positive motivation behind behavior that anyone else sees clearly as negative. Over the years though, I’ve realized that I am often proof that her outlook holds some weight. I’ve been in need of her absurdly excessive patience enough times to finally get some humility about it.

I don’t know if it’s what she would list first, but one of my annoying traits is quite the opposite. I can be pretty pessimistic about people and I might stray into an overly-cautious view of the world. This is one of my biggest susceptibilities to vice. What I’ve learned is that the things that irritate me about my wife are often irritating because they represent something I lack. I think she’d agree that it goes both ways. One of the biggest areas of growth in our marriage has been learning to see annoying things as strengths in our marriage, especially when they act as checks and balances. Frankly, I’m too much of a bitter cuss some times, and Hannah can occasionally put her head in the clouds about the antagonistic realities of living in the real world. But together, we can strike a pretty even balance of those outlooks that really gets things done. We both benefit from that overtime. I’m a lot brighter than I used to be, and Hannah has a very even head on her shoulders. Having a balance worked out like that will hopefully benefit our children in terms of forming their worldview.

The hard part is to stop fighting against those things we lack and start seeing the value in things we may not like in each other. We hope to really learn to rejoice in our differences because they are often the things that pull us in and help us become one flesh. I think that conflict and personality clashes can really be turned into fuel for your family, if you are willing to advocate for each other. I’m not there yet, but I see us moving along that path and the fruits are awesome. I see couples sometimes that are really putting a lot of effort into sending the message that they are perfectly compatible and everything about them just works perfectly. I’d like to sincerely be happy for those people, but I really think that’s based on dishonesty most of the time. What do you know, there’s that pessimism I’ve been talking about….

Interviewer: Interesting. Tickling…Maybe she just tickles your feet because they need to be exfoliated. But let’s address the rest of your statements.

Hmmm, she’s naive, you’re pessimistic, it sounds like you guys could easily fit into the lives of the way too excited Boy Scout “Russel” and the angry old adventurer “Carl” from pixar’s Up. I hear from reliable sources that you two may even have a dog that acts eerily like “Dug.”

Have you heard the joke about being born a pessimist?

Daniel: I have not! Tell me!

Interviewer: “I was born pessimist…my blood is B negative.” I once had a doctor who told really terrible 4 year old jokes, and he told me that.

Anyway, while we are on the subject, what’s the funniest thing you’ve seen your wife do?

Daniel: Deliberately, she hid in a very deep couch and scared my father one time. We had all gone on vacation and had just arrived in a condo. My dads a pretty dry guy, but Hannah and him have a pretty good relationship with quirky humor. While my dad was bringing in the last suitcase, Hannah noticed how deep the couch was and hid in behind the cushions. At her suggestion, I lured him over by saying I thought the frame was broken. Being the fix-it-all kind of guy he is, he leaned in real close for a look, which is when Hannah started moving. Hilarious results.

Non deliberately, she once jumped out of bed and ran excitedly for the kitchen one morning in our first apartment. I’m sure she was running for coffee or a donut or something, as she gets super excited for breakfast. Anyway, we had a place where the wood floor had bowed up, and she kind of hit it and went down. And then she slid. Oh how she slid. She slid from our room into the kitchen and only stopped when hitting the wall. In her underwear. I though she might have really broken her tailbone, but she started laughing like a loon.

Interviewer: Sliding across the floor…in her undies…totally not embarrassing. Just awesome. Although I do apologize for any audiences that might take offense by the mention of undergarments.

This seems like the perfect moment to steer us in another direction. I like to call this “rapid fire reality time.” I’m going to ask some questions that you have to answer within the first 60 seconds of reading them. No cheating.

What superpower would you choose in this day and age, and why?

Daniel: Invisibility. You could do a lot with that these days, like steal money which you could use to compensate for lacking other powers.

Interviewer: Where in time would you go in a time machine?

Daniel: If I wasn’t too scared, I’d go back to Renaissance/counter-reformation Italy or Europe in the 19th century, just to check out all the stuff that was happening. I’d also be tempted to go back to highschool and make a bit less of an ass of myself.

Interviewer: Are you a hunter or gatherer?

Daniel: Hunter. Although I tend to get distracted by picking flowers. Cause I’m a mans man.

Interviewer: What would your patronus be?

Daniel: I think it would be a wolf or a lion, or maybe a big, stupid dog. Like, the kind of dog that tries to bite passing cars to impress you and is stronger get than it is intelligent. My patronus would run right at the dementers and fall for n its face halfway there.

Interviewer: I really agree about the scary slobbery dog… I could see that. That was fun. Let’s go back to real questions.

So what is your all time favorite thing to do to relax?

Daniel: I relax all the usual ways: TV, movies, video games, a good book etc. I really enjoy a good cigar.
My favorite way to relax though is actually driving. I like to drive new places in the country with my family. Interstate driving by myself is also super relaxing for me. With loud music. And jerky.

Interviewer: I hear there’s going to be a surprise road trip with interstate driving soon, although with a baby along, it might be different than loud music and jerky… Screaming and breastmilk, perhaps? Lol

Let’s wrap up with one final question. What is your absolute favorite thing about your marriage?

Daniel: Nobody said those were mutually exclusive.

We always get better. I mean that in two senses: the good times always help us grow, and we always come out of the bad times.

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6 thoughts on “Four Years after “I Do”

  1. Hahaha!! I loved this!!! Y’all are so adorable and have such a beautiful marriage. The comment about being masculine yet also enjoying stereotypically feminine things reminds me of a conversation Joe and I had the other night. I was picking out curtains and asking his advice. Well, he’s colorblind so isn’t too reliable when it comes to those sorts of things. I exclaimed, “you’re supposed to simultaneously be my husband AND gay best friend!!!” He replied, “I think all married men are…” He enjoys shopping more than I do and dresses nicer than I do most of the time.

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