At twenty-six weeks pregnant with my first babe, Eliot Hayden, I thought I might share some thoughts on that little pregnancy trip gaining popularity called “the babymoon.” A babymoon is like a honeymoon for this next big stage of life meant to give the expectant parents a break and, in our secular culture, serve as the “last childless huzzah” together. My husband, Daniel, and I don’t need much of an excuse to shuck off the weight of the world and escape together since we enjoy being in each other’s company as much as we do! It’s the same reason we managed to do our various showers, parties (even the bachelor party) and celebrations all Co-Ed. I know we’re kind of weird for it but when two clingy, lovey, annoying soul-mate’s find each other, results are very conjoined. (Disclaimer: Daniel and I DO spend time doing our own thing, but we prefer to have our parties and vacations together!)
When the opportunity for a babymoon presented itself, we definitely jumped on board although we didn’t like the ideas that many babymoon advocates embrace with that “last childless huzzah” mentality. It just seemed kind of anti-family and negative and honestly…kind of silly. It seems kind of self contradictory to be excited for welcoming a little one into the world and your family, yet have that “our lives will never be as good as they are now” mindset that the secular culture dances around. I’m not at all saying that if you take a babymoon for kid number four or five that you must load the whole pack into the car and enjoy a rousing version of Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed… I just think that your babymoon should be about welcoming your new little baby into the world too! We decided to take the babymoon and leave the attitude so that we could maximize our enjoyment. (When you’re expecting your first child, it’s easy to be excited and we wanted to bring that excitement along with us!)
Finances can be a big reason I know many couples don’t go for it, but I can tell you that it doesn’t have to cost much. When we were considering what we wanted to do for ours, we considered staying with family in another state (free!) and just deal with smaller traveling expenses but when we realized we didn’t actually want to spend our time traveling from one place to another, we simply booked a hotel in our city and enjoyed a “staycation” of sorts! The price was quite reasonable and I’m sure we could have saved for it when we found out that we were pregnant little by little had we been thinking of it. Even without thinking ahead, it was manageable!
Here are our five reasons we think you should take that babymoon if you’re on the fence!
- Love – Taking a babymoon with your spouse, first and foremost, should be because you love your spouse, love to spend time together, and want to reconnect! Having a baby somehow increases your paperwork and to-do list to mountain status, and between scheduling doctor’s appointments, getting your home affairs in order, and regular life, time with your honey sometimes slips through the cracks. This is the perfect opportunity to spend some quality time together focusing on your love for each other and the fruit of your love!
- Thank – Having a baby is equal parts intense blessing and a huge responsibility. Responsibility isn’t a bad thing, and it’s really awesome that God has entrusted you with this special task! You can take part of your babymoon to stop the chaos of life and really thank God for the blessing of children. Every little baby is so precious and if you take the time to think about it, and think about how we all came into this crazy world, it’s hard not to be thankful to be a part of the circle of life (not to get all Lion King about it). Do this together with your spouse too!
- Treasure – Think back to your honeymoon… That blissful time together enjoying each other’s company and wanting to do everything you possibly could to show your spouse how thankful you were to be with them and how much you loved them in the little ways! This babymoon is the possibility of really going for it in terms of showering your sweetie with love in their own language. Life isn’t getting in the way, and you’ve got time to show them! Whatever it is that means a lot to each other, comfort, words, adventure — figure it out and go for it hand in hand! For me, I really wanted to be “comfortable” more than I wanted anything. Daniel gave me comfort when he booked our hotel. He knew a king size bed for my huge belly and several thousand pillows would be speaking my love language. He wanted me to rest in the highest comfort possible and also knew an easy shower to get into would make me crazy happy. I knew he wanted to rest from his intense daily schedule and watch late night television (we don’t have TV at home) and so we planned accordingly. We encouraged each other’s likes when we strolled through a mall and window shopped and took a renewed interest in each other. We shared ice-cream and cookies. We ordered a ton of room service since we were so tired.
- Dream – This is where a babymoon should differ from the world’s definition of it. Remember when you were first dating your spouse and you spent time under the stars or at dinner finding out each other’s dreams of family and imagining yourself there in the future with them? This is the same thing! Spend time dreaming together about your little one and doting on Mom’s precious bump! Take a baby book you like and read it together to the little bundle, and tell your baby how much you love them and all the things you want to do with them! Finding out that you’re expecting brings forth lots of new thoughts and traditions you’d like to share with your offspring – shine that in the spotlight on your babymoon!
- Refocus – This is more of an individual and inward action that you should take during your babymoon. Breaking from routine really helps you to see what really matters in the preparation for baby. No matter how much you don’t want to, you’re probably going to overwhelm yourself somewhere between finding out that you and your spouse are expecting and the birth of your firstborn. Whether it happens with the little things about the nursery or if it happens while trying to decide every important life decision before the baby arrives, trust in God can disappear without you even realizing. Take a step back on your babymoon and find out if tension is building up and then decide what can be taken off of your stress list with full assurance that it will get done, but that you don’t have to devote so much energy to it. For me, I was able to stop micromanaging and with that energy no longer sucking into a black hole, I refocused the energy to big matters I wanted to talk to Daniel about like birth ideas and desires.
After our babymoon, Daniel and I felt so refreshed and realized that it wasn’t just about wanting that break from life, but that we actually were in need of it! So what are you waiting for? Get out there and go do something special together!